1971 Dawn: Knock Three Times

Now here's a question for you; imagine you're living in the flat above the girl/guy of your dreams and you want to get to know them better. What do you do? Do you -

1. Go down, introduce yourself and ask if they might like to go out for a drink sometime, or

2. Unilaterally devise a personal code that even the Bletchley Park lads would have trouble cracking and then spend your nights waiting anxiously for a Morse code type signal that only you can decode?

Ok, maybe I'm being over analytical again and that this type of criticism is like having a go at the realism of Benny Hill's 'Ernie' dying from being hit in the chest by a cake. But hang on - 'Ernie' is a comedy record, it's supposed to be...well, not rooted in reality. 'Knock Three Times' isn't. Or at least it isn't in the hands of Dawn - Tony Orlando may well have been the chief bubblegum gun for hire in the Seventies, but he brought an over earnestness to whatever nonsense he was called on to sing.

I'm reminded in all this of the exhibition fight in Rocky 4 between ex champ Apollo Creed and the Russian Ivan Drago. Creed starts off laughing and joking but soon stops clowning when he realises Drago is taking things rather more seriously. And so it is here; 'Knock Three Times' is a catchy, nursery rhyme type tune tailor made for the under 5's to mime the tapping and knocking actions to and I'd have a lot more time for it if it was dressed up as such or at least had a bit of humour about it. Tony's 'wooahhs' and impassioned 'Oh my darling's on the chorus soon wipe the smirk off your face when you realise they are the work of a man taking things Ivan Drago seriously, a man who regards his unrequited love as a Shakespearian tragedy when in fact he's little more than a creepy stalker with control freak tendencies.

But hint for you Tony - no need to wait for two taps on the pipe, the fact that she doesn't turn up means she ain't gonna show so take the hint eh? But then again, the girl below spends all her nights in dancing by herself so maybe oddness deserves company.