1978 Boney M: Mary's Boy Child/Oh My Lord

When it comes to Christmas tunes I'm something of a traditionalist. Not to the extent that I demand fifteenth century madrigals sung by monks, but there are certain parameters that must be maintained lest a frown reaches my brow. Boney M's version of 'Mary's Boy Child' makes me frown, and that's because you kind of expect something more from the combination of Boney M and Christmas than this single actually delivers.

Harry Belafonte sang the original and he treats the lyric with a slow and sincere reverence as befitting a hymn, but Boney M do virtually the exact opposite and fashion it into a disco shuffle with Caribbean steel drum backing. Not that this would be too much of a problem if there was a party vibe a la Slade going on here, but the beat is a ponderous one with Liz Mitchell treating the lyrics no less respectfully than Belafonte did. It's an odd combination and one that's neither prayer nor party and, at five and a half minute long, it outstays its welcome by at least half its running time.

And this length is chiefly due to one of Frank Farian's own compositions - 'Oh My Lord' - being tacked onto the end in a kind of festive medley. Not that this is a good thing in itself you understand; too slight to stand by itself, it adds little to the parent track except secure half of the royalties for Farian and make everyone else long for a good blast of Jingle Bells, even if it's just from the urchins down the street demanding money with veiled menaces on your doorsteop for the privilege of hearing it.