1975 Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody

‘Ahh!, 'Bohemian Rhapsody' or ‘Ahhrggh, 'Bohemian Rhapsody’!!!? Now that’s a moot question. 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is one of 'those' songs, an entity carved on the Mount Rushmore of rock that seems to have been around forever and which generates equal measures of gushing praise or venomous bile (see also ‘Imagine’, ‘Stairway To Heaven’ etc etc). The mock romantic classicism of its very title suggests we’re getting something out of the ordinary here, something with added gravitas that yanks it out of the dum dum arena of all this 'rock nonsense' and sets it on a plinth all by itself. It's a title of intent that couldn't have been clearer if it was called ‘SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO THIS, IT’S IMPORTANT’.

And what do you know, it appears to have worked - despite over 35 years of exposure, 'Bohemian Rhapsody' stands freakishly alone in the rock canon, a song that’s uniquely of itself and occupier of its own space. You won't hear it busked on the underground, belted out at karaoke or danced to in a nightclub. It's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and it's by Queen and that's all there is to it. But I'm getting ahead of myself now.

Bo-he-mi-an:
noun (usually lowercase) a person, as an artist or writer, who lives and acts free of regard for conventional rules and practices.

Rhap-so-dy:
noun 1.Music. an instrumental composition irregular in form and
suggestive of improvisation.

So run the dictionary definitions, and this seem a fair description of what Mercury's magnum opus offers up. For at base, 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is a triptych of differing musical styles clamped together in a manner that tips its hat to side two of 'Abbey Road' but with (it has to be said) less skill. McCartney's work in stitching together the various works in progress on the latter was seamless, but 'Bohemian Rhapsody' allows some daylight between the joins. Or at least some of them; any number of bands could have 'done' the opening and the end sections (and many have slogged out whole careers doing just that), but it took a different kind of confidence and audacity to pull the middle operatic section out of the bag and make it all work.

Ahh/Ahhrggh, the middle operatic section - as part of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' it serves as both a bridge and a buffer between the opening ballad and the closing proto metal finale, two sections that would otherwise struggle to occupy space in the same song. In years gone by, all that ‘Scaramouch’ and fandangoing is what I used to like least about the song, but in hindsight it's the varnish that has in fact preserved it over the years. Because for a rock standard that everybody knows, 'Bohemian Rhapsody' has generated surprisingly few cover versions. I'll run through my pet theory as to why this should be later, but for now I'll mention the version that 'We've Got A Fuzzbox And We’re Going To Use It' recorded for a John Peel session in 1986 which elicited a rather hostile reaction from Queen fans at the time.

Why? Well even if you haven't heard it then you already have (it's available on the BBC Sessions 'Love Is A Slug' CD if you're interested) - just imagine four hyperactive, semi-sober schoolgirls singing a one take acappella version on the hoof and you're there. The lasses cope as well as can be expected up until the 'Gallileo's' kick in, at which point it collapses into a mess of self conscious giggling. And why shouldn't it? What other reaction could there be other than the embarrassment of realising you've bitten off more than you can chew, even when you're taking the piss?

And that’s my point - any attempt at covering this would end up too strait laced and knowing, too respectful to the source to do anything other than emulate. And in that even, how can you emulate when you don't know whether the original is meant to be taken straight or is camp excess personified? ‘Bad News’ had a dismal crack at the latter while Elaine Paige presented a rather humourless offering on her rather humourless ‘Queen Album’.

That neither got within a country mile of capturing the essence or scale of the song is because it took the straight faced yet tongue in cheek bravado of Freddy Mercury to front all this and make it listenable/believable. Those who try to 'make like he' are doomed to failure so they don’t even try. The song is bigger than all of them, hence the lack of ‘proper’ cover versions and the curious 'preserved in aspic' aura the song has. Because without it, what remains is rather ordinary all told.

The piano led opening has a surprisingly vulnerable Mercury hanging his insecurities out for the world to see ("I don't want to die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" - he doesn't even hide his desperation behind a bouncing pop tune a la John Lennon with 'Help') while at the closing rock out the whole tone adopts a volte face until he's screaming defiance ("You think you can love me and leave me to die? Oh baby, can't do this to me baby").

Interpretations as to Mercury's meaning abound and I'll not go into them here, but suffice it to say that these are two very different, albeit ordinarily generic styles of music that by themselves sit together as well as squabbling flatmates that can't bear to be in the same room as each other. And though it’s inserted with the subtlety of a shoehorn stuffing a size 9 foot into a size 8 shoe, it’s the operetta that’s the peacemaker between them. By managing to knock expectations sideways with such a force, the twains are never allowed to meet and your rational brain comes to accept that anything is possible from here on in.

'Bohemian Rhapsody’ remains a curious proposition that has not been withered by age or repetition. For my own part, loved and loathed – I’ve done both to excess over the years. Now, in my dotage, the spirit level bubble of my take on it has calmly settled somewhere in the middle. I've made my peace with the song and, while it's not something I'll actively play, it's something I can enjoy without feeling guilty whenever I hear it. Yes it’s over the top and gaudy, but there’s also a thread of heartfelt emotion running through it that just about keeps it tethered to reason and stops it flying off up it’s own arse. Bottom line - it's 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and it's by Queen and that's all there is to it.